I wish this thing between us will remain forever. Having random talks, laughs or even random tears while having each other.

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Nostalgia....in a bad way

After being in a blog hiatus for such a long time, I am back!! But, with a sad story. I'm gonna be unique! XD.

Anyways, what that happened after my SPM was that I totally lost contact with all my school mates. No idea what happened or whose fault was it. Or maybe its just my own fault for not taking the initiatives to talk to them.

Honestly, I still truly treasure every part of our friendship especially with a certain someone. Known him the longest, but now....I feel that he is the furthest away from me. Yes I may be a little baby for sulking when he goes out to anywhere without even inviting me, but shouldn't he ask? I mean we have known each other for the 12th year already now and this is how he is treating me?

Not only did he not invite me or anything, but he also sort of abandoned me last year just for a girl? Hey come on, I did not leave you alone when I was with my girlfriend right? In fact the girl was the one whose being left out, not you alright.

Anyways, what that made me to think back bout what that had happened in the past was Frisbee. Met him there and we talked. Yes, just like last time but I just don't feel the warmth from him anymore. Its as though as he is talking to me for the sake of replying what I asked him and stuff. The conversation felt cold for me at least. Not sure if he is feeling that as well.

Nowadays, chat with random people...randomly click on whose online and just start chatting with em. Not really fixed, just trying to find the old me back. I know I am stupid for not letting go of the past and just move on, but its hard. Not like I did not try, in fact I tried a little too hard to let go of the past and just move forward. I guess that is the reason why am I so undecided nowadays and just like to be with myself most the time. Just do not get the secured feelings anymore like last time even though I am with my friends. Just wish someone could help me, but I know that the problem is within me. So I just have to try harder I guess?

All that I need of is assurance and security right now. But it is just hard to get those. Assurance that everything is fine and that my friends would be there for me all the time and that they would not neglect me. That I feel secured every time I am with them and talking to them. But....

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