Got me thinking...hmmmmmm

So today started like any other ordinary day. Woke up to see mom in the kitchen preparing for lunch and all. And after that, mom invited me to Jusco with her and I got to drive this time. XD. Saw Phoon and Wayne working there. Said hi and all. Wanna work but got no idea. Wish I could find a work only on weekdays cause I wanna go out on weekends.

Anyways, what I wanted to say is that. Maybe I really don't fit in with majority of my friends. I mean, come on. They hang out with everyone and anyone but me. They are wayyyyyyyy smarter than I am. And more.

No idea what I actually wanna say that. Just felt like writing something on here...hahahaha

Is it that hard?

Feeling kinda emo now. Yes, I am an emo kid. Yes, I am born sensitive and I cry for almost every single thing that happens. So what? That does not make me any criminal or bad person right? Yes I know I sulk easily and stuff, but that does not mean you have to isolate me and just make me feel so lonely, no?

I'm always the one who is not invited to anything and yet all I can do is just comfort myself saying 'next time'. But deep down in me, I know it won't and will never happen. I got no idea what I am trying to say or type here....but yeah. Is it that hard that you all initiate the conversation sometimes? To call me out or something?

Enough of random babble here...better go. byeeeeeeee

Last Week

Oh hello!! Not gonna nag and babble that much but all that I wanna say is my last week was awesome!! Spent my Friday with Angel, Eva, Dianne and a few more. Walked round KL with Daniel cause we had to find for markers. Then spent my Saturday with Rina, Amanda, Fanny, Ah Chong, Shaun, Charles, Ness, Angel, Eva, Dianne, Patrick, Vimal and alooooottt more!! Walked round Klang doing good and talking to random strangers. Very very different from what I would normally and usually do - being the shy me, it would take almost forever to get me talking to random strangers.

That's all form my update this time. Till then, take care^^

Decision time

Alright, I have made my decision this time and I am not gonna change it anymore. I will stick to it and obey it. So what if that is gonna hurt me and kill me inside out? I'm lying if I were to say that I don't care and I don't mind cause I really do care and mind bout it. So yeah...its gonna be a painful one, but you left me with no choice than this

Nostalgia....in a bad way

After being in a blog hiatus for such a long time, I am back!! But, with a sad story. I'm gonna be unique! XD.

Anyways, what that happened after my SPM was that I totally lost contact with all my school mates. No idea what happened or whose fault was it. Or maybe its just my own fault for not taking the initiatives to talk to them.

Honestly, I still truly treasure every part of our friendship especially with a certain someone. Known him the longest, but now....I feel that he is the furthest away from me. Yes I may be a little baby for sulking when he goes out to anywhere without even inviting me, but shouldn't he ask? I mean we have known each other for the 12th year already now and this is how he is treating me?

Not only did he not invite me or anything, but he also sort of abandoned me last year just for a girl? Hey come on, I did not leave you alone when I was with my girlfriend right? In fact the girl was the one whose being left out, not you alright.

Anyways, what that made me to think back bout what that had happened in the past was Frisbee. Met him there and we talked. Yes, just like last time but I just don't feel the warmth from him anymore. Its as though as he is talking to me for the sake of replying what I asked him and stuff. The conversation felt cold for me at least. Not sure if he is feeling that as well.

Nowadays, chat with random people...randomly click on whose online and just start chatting with em. Not really fixed, just trying to find the old me back. I know I am stupid for not letting go of the past and just move on, but its hard. Not like I did not try, in fact I tried a little too hard to let go of the past and just move forward. I guess that is the reason why am I so undecided nowadays and just like to be with myself most the time. Just do not get the secured feelings anymore like last time even though I am with my friends. Just wish someone could help me, but I know that the problem is within me. So I just have to try harder I guess?

All that I need of is assurance and security right now. But it is just hard to get those. Assurance that everything is fine and that my friends would be there for me all the time and that they would not neglect me. That I feel secured every time I am with them and talking to them. But....

Sorry

To those friends that I have ignored or stopped talking to you in the past, I am so sorry. Its just that I think that you people are better off without me. Some, is because you already have your partner and I think you deserve more time with your partner. For the girls, I don't find you anymore is because you have your boyfriend and your boyfriend are my friend. Just in case I fall for you, it would ruin my friendship with you and also your boyfriend which happens to be my friend......

Randomly typing whatever that I think is in my mind...LOL

Random blabber

I wanna be your radio, singing songs that you love to listen.
I wanna be your mirror, so I can look at your pretty face everyday.
I wanna be your phone, so you would hold me every time.
I wanna be your clothes, so I can hug and give you warmth every second.
Most of all, I wanna be with you...